A story of love, infidelity and beautiful people

A heartfelt story, one read by only a privileged few.

Once upon a time there was a tall, handsome, dirty, lame-joke-telling red-bearded pirate. His name was Roweena. He was a fine man indeed, and inevitably, being such a SNAG meant that he never suffered from a shortage of women.

One day (like many others), a cute, freckly, retarded blonde bombshell fell head over heels for him. Roweena saw a spark in this girl and manipulated her into changing her name to Jiminy, as it was his prime sexual fantasy. She loved him with all her heart and their love blossomed beautifully.

That is, until Roweena had an affair with Gemma, Daneyschka's one and only. Jiminy was absolutely mortified but despite this infidelity prepared to give Roweena a second chance. Things were shambles, but Roweena finally gave in and declared his utmost love for the awkward, skinny but gorgeous girl. He truly believed that Jiminy was the one for him.

Funnily enough, Roweena proceeded to fall for Gemma, against Daneyschka's wishes! They now consider themselves soulmates and Daneyschka has conveniently decided to fall for Jiminy. What a love triangle!